How do you embrace the celebration of a day you wish never came to be?

The release of my memoir on April 18, 2017, is a day that was 45 years in the making. It has been part of a plan so much bigger than mine. It's a wonder that I am here to share it with you at all.

Fifty-six years ago, a huge mistake was made. The ramifications were unequivocal, and the impact threatened to inconvenience and complicate many lives for years to come. Those in charge decided it best to destroy the evidence and carry on like it never happened. But it did. I was there, right in the middle of it.

I was that mistake.

I was unplanned, unwanted, and my parents intended to abort me. As my demise neared, optimism led to my parents to believe in the 50/50 chance that I would be the boy they always dreamed of having.

Enter mistake #2... I was not the boy they expected. Incredibly, I made two grievous missteps before I even took my first breath. Mine was not a happy birthday for them. What an overwhelming responsibility for me to bear.

I was the complacent, sweet, curly-haired little girl with the huge brown eyes that took in the world around me. My parents always mentioned they thought I was “retarded" because I was content and rarely sought their attention. However, as time unfolded, so did I. Once quiet, I soon had much to say. My complacency gave way to a resiliency and tenacity that were both unexpected and unwelcome. I was not supposed to be, yet now I was making my presence known. Adding to their dismay, I had an insatiable desire to express myself in many ways—creating art and music, writing songs, and doing various crafts. I always felt I was created with a mission to make a difference in the world and that was evident in my many endeavors.

Sadly, my parents' resentment of both my existence and my unwillingness to be unseen and unheard turned to emotional abuse. This escalated, becoming so severe that eventually they crushed my soul. Their little mistake that never should have been now believed she needed to die.

Fortunately fate had other intentions. With every suicide attempt and every meltdown, I stood back up even taller. This spark inside me could not be snuffed out. After many years of therapy and the unconditional, nurturing love of an incredible husband, I still stand—beside him and our five amazing children.

But I stand for so much more! I've written a book detailing my journey—sharing the hope we all have within us, that spark waiting to brightly light our way. Do I wish I'd had a perfect childhood with loving parents? Absolutely! I am proof that we don't always get what we want. But we can own our story and share it so others can benefit from our trials.

April 18th is the release date of my memoir, Room in the Heart: Surviving a Childhood Undone, Fulfilling a Pact to Love. This is a day that should never have come to be. But I survived to tell my story, and the celebration of this day is so much more than that: It is the day I pray that my hope will also become yours. I open my heart so you can help yourself to all you can use. I believe in you.

Sometimes the most formidable mistakes can become the most beautiful blessings.

I am that blessing.