We all have a story to tell. Let me clarify; this blog entry I write here is about YOUR book.

Since day one we have all been authoring a paperless memoir. Know it or not, all the decades of your life, good and bad, happy and sad have contributed to every page in every chapter of your life.

In looking back, many of us would wish many chapters could be penned by a ghost writer so we'd never have to go back and revisit times we'd really rather forget. Other chapters might need tweaking; those times you wish you could have planned differently or made alternative choices. Sadly, but in truth, if we omitted any part of our lives, we would not be who we are.

In my memoir Room in the Heart; Surviving a Childhood Undone, Fulfilling a Pact to Love, I share much of the abuse I endured at my mother's hands. During that time I wanted out. I had no one to go to and nowhere else to go. In looking back, that same mother who tormented and tattered my soul, is the very one I have to thank for making me who I am. Not only did she teach me everything NOT to be, but she pushed me over the guardrail to the cliff's edge, forcing me to define my own boundaries based on who I was and what I wanted for myself. She inadvertently made me realize that I am not the ashes- I am the flame.

Knowing I chose not to perpetuate my mother's abuse of me while desperately wanting to create a better legacy for my own family, I made every effort to find healing while not losing the lessons she laid out for me, even after I attempted, time after time to close the book on our relationship.

When you read a book you gather more information from each subsequent chapter. In real life it is that way, too. Even when our days and weeks might seem copacetic and uneventful, we are meeting people and learning lessons that ultimately become another chapter of our own book. In looking back on past jobs that ended up being a poor fit or were not in keeping with my professional goals, I am forced to remember people I met along the way who continue to influence my everyday life even now. Whether it was things they said or their actions alone, these people unintentionally and unknowingly inspired and contributed to the making of me- more than they will ever know. In essence, they were my co-writers of my own story.

Take, for example, our kennel owner, Casey. This young mother and wife is wise beyond her years, and seems unaware that things she says things in jest are anything but meaningless; they are monumental ideas and observations that practically write themselves into their own chapter! When I hear them, time stands still, my soul opens wide, and they plant themselves in the most magnificent of all the gardens in my soul. They require no tending; they are indeed profound and everlasting. If only this humble friend of mine knew how often her musings inspire me deeply...

Often we fail to objectively listen to what others say with ears that hear "outside of the box." We tend to process using our pre-existing set of categories and values. It is only through taking time to assimilate them into a full picture that we gain the most from their meaning, which is often profound.

Our book's spine supports the synopsis of our days. It provides permanence that might otherwise be lessons lost. This myriad of our daily endeavors finds a home in our heart only we permit it. The beautiful, albeit sometimes painful messages offer a fullness, a balance to our lives. They are intermingled in the pages for sure, but we might choose to skip past them to seek the ending. We must remember however that it is the journey, not our focus on the destination that teaches us the most.

What we really need, what is most important here is the lesson of listening. Listen and you will hear what your soul craves. Your path is paved but you plant the flowers...if you so choose.

While you plant your flowers, I should tell you... I've always found soul-healing in a spade full of soil...